Single Parenting-Part2

Hello all….hope you all are set for the weekend mood…!!! This weekend spend some time with yourself…and do get back to me after reading this post.

I had written about single parenting here way back in September and had promised will write the next part soon…but time crunch…or should I say laziness:P.

But today I am fulfilling the promise and sharing another inspiring story of Nirmala Pawar.

I travel by the Mumbai lifeline or the famous local trains. The 45 min journey is fun filled, sometimes there are fights sometimes the environment becomes quite abusive. Amidst all this I manage to take a short nap or would say power nap which keeps me going all day long.
It was a strenuous Friday… I just wanted to reach home and get into my cosy bed and sleep. I had done a 15 hr shift and I was totally tired…both mentally and physically. I boarded the ladies compartment at night 11 from Vikhroli. I managed to get a seat. I tell you it’s easier to get a parliament seat…but getting a seat in Mumbai colleges and trains seems next to impossible…with the ever increasing crowd…Somehow I made my way…I wondered where people roam…at this hour. 
I settled on my seat…it was pouring outside…it was a pleasant climate….and within seconds… I fell asleep. The sound of thunder broke my sleep and I was pretty upset that i couldn’t get my power nap. There was a lady sitting in front of me. She must be in her late 50’s. At this hour of the day, she was brimming with energy, and I could see her smile. Maybe she understood that I am disturbed and irritated.
There was some magic in her smile…. her face was serene… tranquil…just like a white lotus. Perfectly draped maroon saree, a big bindi adorned her face. Within some time we both started talking with each other (can’t help…I need someone to talk to). I asked her how she could be so energetic at this hour of the day.
She said she has faced lots of problems in life….so she now lives life to the fullest and enjoys each and every moment. I was amazed at her reply. I asked her if she would like to share her story with me….and here goes her story…
As narrated by Nirmala:
I was born in a family where girls were not allowed to study. We were 8 children and i was the eldest of all. I was married off at the age of 13 and by the age of 25 I had 5 kids, three girls and two boys. One day my husband came home with another woman. He told me that he is not interested in me anymore and that i had two options, either to stay with him and serve both of them or else leave the house. He wanted the custody of his sons. He didn’t want to take the responsibility of the girls. I was illiterate and i didn’t have a job. 

My parents suggested that I should stay with him as he was my pati parmeshwar. I continued to stay with him. The six months which i stayed with him were suffocating and one day he started to misbehave with my elder daughter. That’s when i decided enough is enough….I left the house. I went to my parents place. My brother and his wife straight way refused to give shelter to me. My mom cried and pleaded….then they agreed to give me shelter…but just for three months. I had to search for a job, school and above all a place to live…that to within 3 months.

I had made up my mind…no matter what…I was going to give the best education to my children and make them responsible human beings. God helps those who help themselves…this is really true. One day while roaming on the streets of Mumbai…I met my childhood friend. Her husband had a factory that produced pillows. She readily agreed to give me a job in the factory. Meanwhile I also took orders to provide lunch boxes to the mill workers. I initially took orders for 15 people. I used to prepare the dabba’s in the morning and then leave for work at 6.30 am. I used to drop the kids at the municipal school. The kids would return home themselves. They used to go to my neighbour who used to take tuitions. They used to sit and revise their notes for the day there. I used to reach home by 5, and then play with my children, ask them about their day and spend some quite moments in prayer. My friend’s husband arranged a small room on deposit basis for me. I shifted there with my children. My friend also helped me with the admissions of my children…I don’t know if angels exist…but for me…my friend was an angel in disguise.

After two months I realised this was not enough I needed more money…the kids were growing up and they needed to be fed properly. I couldn’t afford biscuits and fruits and other stuff like ghee and dry fruits. I took up another job; it was a night shift in a doctor’s clinic. So now I was doing three jobs in a day. There were days when I used to feel lonely…and left out…but they were just momentary. I had determined to fight back each and every battle…whatever the situation be..

My struggle paid off…and within two years i got a job in Airports Authority of India. It was for housekeeping. I agreed without any hesitation. Then started a new phase of my life, a life which was beautiful…. I made it a point that each and every penny earnt was well spent. Today my children are well settled. My elder son is a computer engineer, the younger one a diploma from ITI. My two girls are teachers and one is a graduate. I played my part and made them self reliant, All of them are married and leading their lives. I stay few days with my elder one and then move to younger ones place. I have just 3 years left to retire….and I am pretty satisfied with what life gave me.

I get concessional travel and I travel with my family every year. Recently i visited all the major temples in Maharashtra. I have no regrets. I am happy with my life. I feel proud to see my children well settled. I am thankful to God for giving all this strength. If I would have stayed with that man…I could have never voiced my opinion…and my children would never have been in a position where they are today. 

Here there was a woman in her late fifties who possessed the strong willpower to fight each and every circumstance..who traveled 5 hrs everyday…and here there was me….who got irritated on petty issues…who complained about how life was unfair.
Her story reminded me of Shabana Azmi’s character in Arth…or Smita Patil’s character in Akhir Kyon. Both the movies portrayed the strong side of a woman. . I strongly believe that if one has the will power and determination to fight…and faith in our dreams…we can really move mountains.
It’s always easy to crib and cry….but difficult to get up…and give one more try….!!!!

4 thoughts on “Single Parenting-Part2

  1. Beautiful post,Gayu.The woman had been lucky in having a friend who came to her succour.But when she decided to leave her husband rather live in indignity, it showed her grit.One may fail in the process but that should not deter us from taking the right course action.

  2. Hi Gayu
    This is truly an inspiring story. Sometimes we get so bogged down by the stupid little things in our lives that we fail to realize that there are others who are fighting bigger battles. Do visit my other blog sometime.

  3. Thank you KP. It takes lot of courage for a wom,en to leave her husband and go…especially in a country like ours.

    Meera, I am not able to view your other blog from my mobile. I read blogs when I travel to office. I shall surely catch up with ur posts this weekend.

    Take care

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