Letters and Love

 
Dearest
Appa,

Last
week, on my birthday, I received a handwritten letter from one of my blogger
friends. The moment I read the letter, I felt the urge to hug her. This is the
age of technology, where we have the bestest applications at our fingertips,
yet a handwritten note or letter is something very special.

I’ve
never written a letter to you. I’ve done it to surprise my hubby, my friends
and even for Vidya , but never have I wrote to you. I don’t know why I never
did that. Maybe I felt you wouldn’t understand my feelings, or maybe you would
laugh at my act of writing a letter, when we can speak for hours on the phone
(the STD calls have become cheaper than ever).
But
today, when I spoke to you in the morning, you sounded a bit low, tired and
guilty. You wanted to pour your heart out, yet you just spoke few words and
kept the phone. I knew something was wrong, I called up again, and then you
confessed, that you were guilty of many things in life. You said that you felt
bad for you couldn’t provide us with many of the luxuries as a child. I would
want to term them as luxuries, coz,
spending Rs15 for a School Annual Photograph was a big thing for a person who
earned only Rs100 a month.
I posted this today
 
Don’t
feel guilty about it Appa, I know you have done the best to provide the family
the basic necessities and some of the luxuries. I can now understand it all,
when I plan out the monthly budget, when I pay the bills and when I plan for my
daughter’s future.

As
men, you are always supposed to be strong, never express your feelings and most
importantly never cry. However, it’s okay Appa, to cry, don’t hold back those
tears. I am here to listen to your concerns, worries and tensions. This is the
most I can do from miles away, listen to you.

 

During
my school days, I always felt that you never loved me. You kept shouting at me
(you had to, the lazy child that I was), to get up, to eat my breakfast (2
Idlis to be precise) and a cup of milk. Huh! I can now understand the countless
struggles you must have faced to bring up a rebel like me. They say, ‘what goes around comes around’, and it’s
so true. At times when Samu doesn’t finish her food or becomes fussy, I have to
be rigid; I have to shout (if my cajoling and bribing doesn’t work). I guess
all parents have to do that, at some point of time. That doesn’t make them ‘Good’ or ‘Bad’. If a situation demands  you to be strict, you have to as a
parent.

I
also remember the times, when you would scold me for watching too much TV. It used to irritate me, and
I would wonder, why there was a TV in the house, if we seldom watched it. I
have managed to get all the answers to my questions. You would always encourage
me to read, I remember you purchasing piles of Readers Digest from the ‘Raddiwalla’.
I am indebted to you forever, for inculcating the habit of reading in me.
Today, I smile at myself, when I pick up books for Samu. Even last week, I
picked up 5 books for her. Hope she too realizes the importance, soon!
My
fingers are aching; I don’t know how many words I have managed to pen, as there
is no word count in this piece of paper. I hope my handwriting is legible
enough for you to read. My Kathak classes are going good and I am enjoying the
2 hours with my daughter, learning the basics of classical dance.
Appa,
you have done your best and if any of my words have ever made you feel that you
were not good enough, then, I AM SORRY!
I
know you will forgive me, as you have always done that! I love you for all that
you are!

Do
take care of your health and keep smiling!

You
are always in my prayers.

Love,

Jaya

PS: Do
ignore any grammatical errors as this letter is written without any Microsoft
Help!
 
 

 
 
 
 

20 thoughts on “Letters and Love

  1. Wow!! This is something so beautiful and profound. I know how I have often felt about a lot of people around me I wish i could also write each one of them a letter and then perhaps make them realise how I feel about them…

    Richa

  2. Just reminded of my +2 days where we had a lesson "Father dear father" Its a letter written by a child to his father and i just mugged it. I just loved that letter, you brought me some fine memories with this one. Thank u

  3. Hi Gayu,

    There is a different charm about handwritten letters, right from those extremely fancy handwriting to the feel of the paper to the smell of the ink.

    I miss those days when i was a frequent writer.. my dad has treasured all the letters that i have written to him in last 20 odd years of my life, and it feels wonderful to see him read them over and over again telling me how my handwriting changed over the years and pointing out the language mistakes 😛

    This women's day I'll write a letter to my mom. Thanks for this wonderful post.. keep writing 🙂

    – Ashmitha

  4. I remember I used to write personalized poems for everyone special to me, as a gift on their birthdays. That way, I used to express to them what they meant to me. Somewhere down the line, that habit of writing with the good ol' pen and paper just faded away. Your post has given me a renewed urge to write my heart out. Write, not type. Thank you for this wonderful letter Gayatri!

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