Reader’s Question #2- Weight Loss and Inner Narrative

In my earlier post, I discussed the importance of decoding the inner narrative. One of the main reasons to do this is to achieve the goals in our life. Rewriting the limiting stories helps us to build an empowering future and helps us to become the person that we’ve always dreamt of.

Last week I answered a reader’s question and today I’m answering one more important question that most of us have. Staying healthy and fit.

A blog reader sent me her story last week. It goes like this.

“Gayu, I read your post about rewriting the internal chatter and must admit that it was helpful. I did discover the stories I tell myself. But that’s it. I couldn’t go any further…I mean I don’t understand how I can use it. I’ve been trying to lose weight since last 5 years, but it’s not happening. I’ve tried all kinds of diet joined the best gym in my locality, but….no use. Since last 2 months I’ve gained 5 kilo. I don’t eat sweets, have completely stopped rice and potato. I include salads and fruits, go to gym….but…… All day long I keep thinking, you’re a waste, you’ve spent so much money, but no use. You’ll never be able to look beautiful. You’ll never find a guy to marry you/love you. I feel helpless. Can you suggest something or write about weight loss in your blog. Love, S”

This was my reply to her

Thanks S for reaching out to me.

Now let’s try to decode this–I’ve been trying to lose weight since last 5 years focus on the words, Lose weight. From childhood we’ve been taught never to lose things like- pencils, pen, books…etc. We are used to gaining things like good marks, good job, good salary package…etc. So when it comes to our weight, how can we lose it? I think most of us cannot see ourselves losing anything. The words are in negation. The first step in rewriting the inner narrative in this case is, to focus on the language or words and phrases we use.

Instead of losing weight how about reframing it to becoming fit or reaching my ideal weight as per my height. That sounds better, isn’t it?  I successfully became fit. From 72 kg I’ve reached  63 kg and currently working on reaching 56 kg that’s the ideal weight as per my height. To get fit here are some things that I did. These have helped me in my journey of becoming and staying fit.

Decoding the internal chatter

You can choose the best nutritionist and gym trainer. You may choose the best diet plan, yet you may find it challenging to lose weight at times. People are so caught up in the stories that they tell themselves. They believe it to be true and gradually these stories become their reality.

Here’s what I thought to myself. “It’s okay to be a little overweight. You’re a mom. It’s okay if you have a bulging stomach, you’re a mother. It was my voice. Once I identified it, I changed it. I started telling myself, “Yes you’re a mother and that’s why you’ve to be fit. Your daughter is watching you, so you’ve to be fit, energetic and lively.” Being fit for me was having more stamina, glowing skin and eyes that are full of energy and happiness.

“You’re a waste, you’ve spent so much money, but no use. You’ll never be able to look beautiful. You’ll never find a guy to marry you/love you.”

Whose voice is it?

Who says that?

What does being fit mean to you?

What would happen if you become fit?

How would your life change?

How different would be your choices?

How different is this new, fitter, prettier, confident S living her life?

How does she look?

These questions will allow your unconscious mind to think, chose and act differently.

Setting up a daily habit

I observed I made large goals and never stuck to it. Like going for a walk every day. I will stop eating rice. I will get up early at 5am. For someone who never went to walk waking daily was challenging. For a rice lover giving up rice completely was challenging as well. Instead of these promises, I committed to the following.

  • I am going for a walk two days a week, Saturday and Sunday.
  • I am getting up just 10 minutes early to stretch my muscles.
  • I am adding a fruit to my existing meals.
  • I am having tea only once a day.
  • I am having rice only on weekends.


You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is%2 (3)



This shift made it easier to reach my ideal weight. Many people set a goal to go to gym 5 days a week. They do it for a month or two and they get exhausted. They don’t see the results and then they lose the inner drive. The challenge is consistency. Instead of committing to 5 days a week, if you start by committing to just one day a week, say every Saturday, but every Saturday for next 6 months, see how drastically your health improves and you become fit. Set smaller every day habits. Watch your current daily habits. Are you consistently following your healthy routine?

Watch your emotions

When I look back at my life, food and emotions are interconnected. When I was feeling angry or was upset, I skipped meals. When I felt anxious, scared and lonely, I kept eating. I observed that I was always in a hurry to finish off my meal. I never took time to relish the food in front of me. That’s when I started following mindful eating. I noticed that when I focused on the food I ate, I became calmer and chose food that are nutritious for me. I believe that, ‘It doesn’t matter what you eat, but in what state of mind you eat’

When you hog on a pizza with feelings of emptiness and fear, then you’re allowing the food to be digested properly. The fat doesn’t get used and is stored in your body. This fat keeps accumulating and leads to obesity and other health problems.

Focus on creating a healthy lifestyle

As a child, we start to crawl, then slowly learn to stand and balance ourselves. We fell for sure, but we chose to get up. We continued this until we balanced ourselves completely. Then small baby steps….and within few months, we learnt to walk. Look at us today, do we think before walking? Walking is so effortless!

Once you focus on creating a healthy lifestyle, you continue to make healthy choices and gradually you see and feel the difference.


I hope this helps you in your journey of becoming fit. How have you created a healthy lifestyle? I am eager to hear your story. Do share it with me in the comments section or feel free to drop an email at-

Hope you all had a great weekend. Mine was wonderful.

Good night and have a great week ahead!

Love and gratitude,


8 thoughts on “Reader’s Question #2- Weight Loss and Inner Narrative

  1. Oh, this is challenging for me. I don’t have nagging narratives regarding this though. The main reason for my ‘not attaining ideal weight’ is over-intake of sugar, I guess. I can’t help it (I am trying).

    I can’t stop eating rice, and I don’t think it is necessary if you eat a controlled portion. Calorie-wise both chapatti and rice are same. It’s just we go a little overboard when it comes to eating rice 🙂

    Nice, helpful post!

    1. The idea behind this is not forcing yourself to go on a crash diet or fitness routine. When you start with the tiny habits and continue acting on it consistently, the results will show, always 🙂
      Thank you Tarang for your continued support 🙂

  2. Exactly the post that many needed and you’ve been it simple. I think the whole thing boils down to society’s perception of us. I will also take a cue and try to exercise once a week. My tummy never cease to grow…hehe

    1. Yes that’s it Vishal, start with once a week and that too just 5 to 10 minutes, but for the nest 6 months. The consistency plays a major role here. All the best. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *